Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Tall and Skinny

Tall and Skinny...now I wish I was talking about myself here but with my ever expanding waistline I am talking about my bean pole son Gus! We just had his 15 month check up and he is just off the chart for his height 33 inches and only in the 50% for weight at 25.5 lbs! At this age Cy was over 35 lbs already so we are thinkin this guy is bean pole city! I love it! He is so tall and wiry strong...he is totally going to be a basketball player! WaHooo! That makes the mama happy.

Augustus my little man is hilarious. His personality is coming out like crazy and he is a little crazy! He climbs on anything and everything; stairs, chairs, tries to climb up the drawers which toppled over on him. He has this amazing skill to get out of the restraints on his highchair, no matter how tight we make it. We call him MacGyver and check for any paperclips and or bobby pins he might be using to escape, ha ha! By the way, MacGyver's first name was Angus...gus in there makes me laugh. He has even gotten out of the highchair and stepped up onto the tray and just stood there dancing around.
He scares me he is so daring, he is totally going to be our child begging to skydive at age 5. The other day I had a huge tall basket of clothes folded and stacked in the basket to carry upstairs. I sat it on the couch and came back to find Gussy standing on top of the folded clothes totally wobbling around on the unstable soft couch cushion, giggling with joy. Then he used his height to step to the back of the couch and try to walk the length of the couch before I grabbed him. I really think he was just going to walk all the way and jump off...what a nerd!

He found use for the fridge drawers while I cleaned out the fridge.

I LOVE his hair color, it is this beautiful reddish brown. He has big auburn brown eyes that just melt my heart!

Auggie laughs all the time and it cracks me up! He is such a fantastic addition to the family. He sure keeps us busy and running (trying to save his life mostly) oh boy how we love him! He is so sweet and loving and for how crazy and rambunctious he is, he is also our most cuddly baby by far and I eat it up! He is totally a Daddy's boy and that makes me happy too!
Love him!
One more thing, he totally likes to bug and annoy Cy which I know shouldn't but does make me laugh!

Friday, January 22, 2010

Sweet Emma

Today is a special day in our family. It was 9 years ago, Jan. 22nd 2001 that our little Emma was born stillborn. I love this picture.

I think I told a little about her experience once before, mostly about all that happened leading up to her birth. I like writing these thoughts about her down for family history purposes, every time I think about her I am just surprised by how much every detail is ingrained in my heart and mind. I didn't have a blog then, so I'm writin' it down now people. I will never forget that day, or the 2 months leading up to it.

We found out at our 20 week ultra sound that our baby girl had major problems. After an amniocentesis and other tests we were told she had Turner's Syndrome. It is a chromosomal disorder where the baby girl, always girl, only receives one X chromosome and nothing from the other parent, the absence of a Y of course is why the baby is always a girl. There are many many complications and problems with this disorder, but for Emma, it was the build up of amniotic fluid that put tremendous pressure on her heart completely suppressing growth on the left side. If she had made it long enough they were going to deliver and perform immediate open heart surgery or a heart transplant to save her life. It became very clear though that she would fall short of making it long enough.

Emma was born at 29 weeks gestation, about 6 1/2 months. She was perfect looking in every way, just teeny tiny at 3 lbs. 2 oz. I remember she looked an awful lot like Ellery later would, the shape of her face was just the same. She had reddish hair and sweet little lips. She looked at peace and very tired. I was so very thankful after such a trauma filled pregnancy and most difficult labor to be able to hold her and be with her for several hours before we had to say good bye.

It was a Sunday when they induced labor. Every 2 hours throughout the day I had Prostin to begin contractions. It worked okay, but there was no dilation at all. I knew that inducing labor so early was going to be difficult, but I had no idea. That night things picked up with contractions making for a very restless night, still no dilating. At 5 am Monday morning they were going to do another amnio only injecting hemabate instead which would hopefully help me progress. I was contracting way too much and they didn't want to puncture the uterus for fear of a rupture with the contractions. This is when they began several different things all at once including the pitocin. Things went from zero to sixty. My contractions became more intense than I can describe and right on top of each other. It got really bad.
I truly do not remember much of the next 14 hours because I was so engrossed in the pain and I had already been in labor so long. I wanted to go natural so badly because in my mind, even though I was dealing well with loosing her, this was all I had...I wanted to feel everything I could with her. Sounds silly, I know. I had nothing to compare this labor to then, but looking back after delivering 5 more babies without medication either I can't believe I even made it to the end with her. It was like the intensity of end stage labor the entire time. The nurses were concerned and kept telling me to watch the monitor. They kept pointing out that there was absolutely no break in between each contraction...not even 5 seconds let alone a minute or two.
My Mom was with me the whole time thank heavens and my best friend Stephanie came to visit at one point. It was very comforting to have them there. I didn't even imagine that it was going to be so bad or I never would have insisted that Matt go to work that day. I just knew it was going to take a long time and thought he could just come after work and not really miss much...boy was I wrong. I wish I had him there the whole time, he is so comforting to me, that amazing man. When he walked in it looked like he had seen a ghost, I looked pretty bad.

I was able to hang in there and thank heavens with a baby so small, delivery was simple at 8pm. Then my body was at peace, immediately. My heart amazingly too. I can't say that I didn't for one brief moment plead "cry, breathe...please." Hoping that this was all just a bad dream. Not meant to be, but seeing her and holding this little angel was so precious to me, words can't describe. She was so soft, so perfect. Little hands and toes, cute little button nose and long eyelashes. I thought then, and often still do, what kind of person she must be to only need to come and receive a body. What kind of character and spirit she must have been in Heaven to get to go home so early. That brings me such joy. I am just glad that I get to be her Mom. I only hope she knows how much we love her even though we didn't get to have her on this earth. I hope she remembers or knows all those times I lay there feeling this new life rolling around within me. Precious. I had such dreams and hopes for a life with her like all mothers do...someday I will have my Emma.

Motherhood is the most amazing experience on earth, how thankful I am for each time...but especially with her.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Memory Lane

Well I am sure that this post will get as many comments as my last post...2 "I love Matt" rants in a row, oh well. But I have to write something today, it was 10 years ago TODAY that I met this man who has changed my life in so many ways. How could I ever have known that night that things would work out so...perfectly! 10 years ago I found the guy I had been looking for, the guy who could worthily take me to the temple, loves sports as much as me, and who has to turn slightly to fit through a door...check check check!

So I thought we'd take a slightly long -WARNING- trip down memory lane and I'd share our first date!
I wanted to serve a mission. I was down at SUU and tired of dating guys that came up to my eyebrows. A mission was just part of my "plan" So I was very surprised when my bishop who I had been working with to get my papers ready told me that he felt very strongly that I should complete my papers with my bishop back home. I was discouraged because this meant that I wouldn't leave right on my 21st birthday if I had to wait till the end of the semester when I returned to Orem. But I followed his inspiration. When I got home for Christmas break I told my Dad how I was frustrated with this delay. He had a funny look on his face and when I asked, said that he just wasn't sure that I should go on a mission. I was irritated...part of my "plan" remember! He asked if I had prayed about it? Uh....No...hello just a good thing to want to go and serve the Lord, how could that be wrong?!

He strongly encouraged me, like a good Dad, to go and pray about it. I did and received and overwhelming NO! What the heck! Remember my "plan" people!

Well, I'll speed through this part, I was mad. A couple days later I went with my Mom to visit my cousin and deliver Christmas goodies. John was this enormous 6'8" football player and his wife is my height. I was venting about the mission and also not having any big guys around to date! I said, "Where can I find me one of these Teri?!" I was joking, teasing...but she got this great look on her face and said "I know this guy!!"

Oh crap, no thank you to blind dates. Been there done that. I ended up with a huge wimpy vegetarian who didn't know who was playing in the super bowl...um no, no more blind dates. But she wouldn't let it go. A couple of days later this guy called me. He sounded, well tough, I was intrigued!

We set up a date for that week. I picked him up since his car wasn't working. I was SO nervous! I knock on his door and this intimidating football player man, who was not very happy, opened the door and my already frazzled nerves took a nose dive. I timidly asked if Matt was there. I came in and waited, then I hear this "hello" behind me. I turn around to find this ginormous man with a Mr. Clean bic-ed shiny head, fantastic reddish goatee, and bulging muscles staring at me. I did not take this as a good sign...he actually looked...well mad (he later told me that when he saw me he got nervous too, mutual attraction right off the bat, but I just thought he looked mad.)
He had on this t-shirt that was stretching against his like 22" bicep muscle, ahhh salt to the wound. This guy was HOT and not going to be interested in me at all. He put on a sweater and I got to watch his magical arms lift up flexing ever so slightly as he pulled it over that massive head! I was already smitten, but completely wiped out in the confidence department, no WAY this guy was going to like me.

We head out to the car and it was awkward silence, very awkward. After a few moments I told him that he could change the radio channel if he wanted to. He asked me what I had in the CD player. I was nervous to answer in case he would think I was an old school nerd. I quietly said...Led Zeppelin. To which he eagerly replied how much he LOVED Led Zeppelin!!!

Magic people! Our awkwardness was instantly removed and a conversation revolving around the greatest band EVER emerged! I have never been joking when I said that Led Zeppelin saved our relationship! From there on out the conversation was easy and flowing. We began discovering just how many things we had in common and how well our personalities fit together. I was just enthralled with him. I didn't want this to end.

After dinner we visited my cousin, that was funny. Then we just headed back to his house and I was really bummed. It was early and I didn't want our date to end. Even though we had so much to talk about, I just still didn't think that he was interested interested in me. I remember thinking to myself, I hope he asks me to come in. He DID. Very smooth "Do you want to come in and listen to some Zeppelin?" Did I ever?! He knew I couldn't resist that.

We were hanging out and I remember thinking to myself, if he kisses me, I am going to let him! Totally unlike me on a first date...shameful! But I just thought, I am never going to see this most manly man again and it will at least make a great story that I got a smooch off of this hot BYU football player.

Well we had a great time listening to some tunes and chatting it up, period end of story! Okay I am sure you can see right through that, I can not comment for fear of incriminating myself in the court of my childrens' opinion in years to come. "I have no recollection"...I mean, there is no WAY that we totally made out after only meeting 3 hours earlier! I am SURE that it was only a small peck on the cheek that I received...how time clouds the memory wink WINK! I can only say that after that "small peck on the cheek" smitten doesn't even describe my condition!

What can I say, it was heaven from the first date on. He left the next day to 2 all-star games and he called me every single day. We talked for 3 & 4 hours at a time...racking up an enormous phone bill that thank heavens his agent paid for! When he got home 2 1/2 weeks later it was pretty evident that we were already Maaadly in LOVE! Madly in love! A couple weeks later, marriage-talk entered the picture and just a mere 8 weeks after meeting this man, we were engaged!!! Craziness!

I can't believe that 10 years have passed! Where on earth has the time gone? In all the right ways it seems like just yesterday that this fantastic giant strolled into my life. On the other hand it seems like I have known him my whole life...even longer! A match made in heaven. I just can't put into words how much I love him and how thankful I am every minute for him! Thanks Hoss...what memories!

Friday, January 8, 2010

3 things

I have just been reflecting today, not feeling too good and just laying around playing with the little kids. As they use my body as a "mountain" for their trucks, a jungle gym to do tricks on, or a ramp to jump off of. Laying there I was just thinking.

I am thankful. I am so very thankful for many things. Today, as I am the vast majority of the time, I am most thankful for Mattie. He is spectacular.

Let me just share with you 3 things that happen every day. 3 things I hear literally every single evening.
Matt arrives home from his long day at work, the kids swarm him...especially Gus these days~adorable! He makes his way into the kitchen where I most always am at that time of day. I hear 3 things, almost verbatim every day.

#1- One of two things. "Hey babe, how was your day?" Or "Hello my
love, how was your day?"
These are asked always excitedly and sincerely and always with some sort of hug/kiss or if I am lucky and providing there are no children present, maybe something a little more PG-13 rated! Ha!
#2- Again, one of two. "What can I do to help you?" Or "What do you need me to do?"
I could tell him I need a foot massage and he'd do it...maybe I should. Humm.
#3- After helping me if I need it, or not. "I am going to go mess around with the kids."
After which he trots off to let the kids attack him! He gives them his full attention for as long as they want. He's up for what ever they want to do! Lucky ducks!

Never does he walk in the door and need to rest or relax. No "winding down" necessary. no plopping in front of the tv. I haven't ever heard him say that he needs a minute or heard how exhausted he is. Even when he was off to a second job directly after, I always heard those 3 things. Well, actually there are 4 things...but its of a suggestive nature and even for me, some things need to remain private!!

I know people get tired of hearing this kind of stuff from me and maybe this is a little bit of an "I love Matt" blog...but so what! I don't care, it is just plain true. He is too darn good to me to not shout it out!

I had to put this picture in because the girls and I found it the other day. The funny thing is they said "what happened to his face?" I guess they thought this hilariousness with the bleaching was pretty funny!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

A beautiful mess!

My son, chicken little.
This kid finds candy canes and this is the result. I swear I do not have candy canes just laying around, I hate HATE sticky candy. But we have had some with the holidays. Somehow he gets into the kids' stuff and finds them, devouring them before I can take them away from him!

On a side note, who invented blue candy canes...really.

Monday, January 4, 2010


So, what have we been doing during our LoNg Christmas Break? A whole lot of
which to me is

Literally, we went no where! It has been a blast! Our days have been filled with family movies, games, reading, wrestling, hot chocolate, sledding, popcorn, snow angels, singing performances, dragging the kids through the snow behind the tractor, dance performances, new toys, snuggling, lots of stories, puzzles, jammy days, arts and crafts, more wrestling, mario race cart tournaments, more snuggling and of course TREATS!

Did I mention Carrie Underwood and Taylor Swift...LOTS of those ladies! The girls are obsessed! Too cute, they know every word and belt it out!

Snuggled up on the bean bag watching a movie...this was a
"scare-wee" part

Let's do hair!! The girls yelled....oh yay, I say. Can you just hear my enthusiasm and excitement?

We found these notes everywhere. Making sure we got the invite. I just love how "mayby" Taite can be a dancer. And Parents hold your babies and Todlers! Too funny!

This is what he does now every time you say the word "Cheese!"
It was totally funny, but I would like a picture of his face "normal" every now and then!

Perhaps the greatest thing about this long vacation has been the fact that I have got to spend an excessive amount of time with this guy!!

My Mr. Hoss Man

I got to stare at him whenever I wanted, hug him, kiss him, jump on him, snuggle in, wrestle with him, bother him, make our children giggle with delight as we danced around and kissed it up! Pretending that it bothered me that he wouldn't shave during his vacation. Watching the goatee stretch to never before reached lengths. Seeing him do all the manly things around the house he never has time for. Nothing is more fun than having him around. Watching him play with the kids 24/7 and helping me out CONSTANTLY! What could be better?

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Christmas at the Johnsons

We started off on Christmas Eve with out usual traditions. A great day at home playing around together, there were games, movies, sledding and a little last minute gift wrapping! Then we prepared our favorite Christmas Eve feast. Ellery and Bailey started this a few years ago with all food beginning with "C" for Christmas, they are hilarious. What cracks me up the most is a couple of things that they wanted on the menu didn't begin with "C" so they just added Christmas to whatever it was, so Christmas Rolls just to make it fit! You can't really tell from the picture, but there are about 15 things on the menu all our favorites and such a feast! Candle light just for fun!

We read about the birth of our Savior and the true reason for Christmas. I am always so happy that they love the Lord and love hearing about His birth just as much as anything having to do with the big red jolly guy! After all our fun, we send them off to bed trying their hardest to stay awake in bed and hear those darn reindeer! They were all so excited. It is fun to see as each year another one of my babies has grown up enough to understand it all. So FUN!!!

Christmas morning
Everyone was happy and ready to open presents nice and early. Our presents for the baby Jesus first and then they all took turns so nicely! I was really happy to see that again they were so excited over their toys even though we keep Christmas kind of small. They get one gift from Mom and Dad, one from Santa and then some small things filling their stockings. Of course there are treats a plenty but that is about it! They were thrilled!
Ellery and Bailey really got into the spirit this year and wanted to buy Matt and I presents on their own without our help this year. It was SO sweet! I am excited that they see how fun giving can be!

We had been fighting a wonderful stomach flu for over a week. Me with pregnancy sickness and 4 kids with this awful flu made for a lot of throwing up. Somehow Ellery escaped the fun...until everyone else was feeling better that is. She got sick Christmas Eve and threw up all day Christmas day. She is awesome though, even when sick she is pleasant, happy and fun. She just was laying low and trying to feel good. What a trooper! Here she is with her sprite and the ever fun bucket "just in case!" Poor Ellie, she is the best "sick kid" ever!

Bailey loves things artsy and crafty. This was just a little stocking stuffer, but she had fun for hours making different designs. What a cutie!

Taiter just had a blast all day long! She was probably the most bubbly...so excited!

Cy is so obsessed with the movie Cars. He got everything cars this year. Here he is with his beloved Mac and Lightning inside! He asks to sleep with it every night, never out of sight!

This is Gus's new Cheesy face! Nice and slobbery for this picture. He is all about balls...any kind of ball! Throw it, he chases it, brings it back and waits for you to throw it again! Hours of fun!

We are totally low key, but had a great time! We just played together all day long and had a blast! It was such an inexpensive Christmas and one of my favorites ever! The kids were just so happy and fun. We had so much fun this Christmas break as a family and to me that is what Christmas is all about!

I hope your family had a very Merry one too!!!