Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Memorial Day: Remembering Emma

I love these pictures of the girls with their cousins Logan and Megan! These are all pictures from our visit to the cemetery this year with Oma, Papa, Uncle Lloyd and the kids.
Our family loves Memorial Day because it is such a wonderful lesson for our little family about Eternal Families. I think that most people who know us know that our first little daughter was stillborn. It was such an amazing experience that I never could have been able to understand then how it would come to be such a blessing for our family.
Matt and I met on a blind date and were engaged very shortly after, and married very shortly after that. We were only married weeks and got pregnant. Everything happened so fast! But it was wonderful and we were excited! But we found out early that something was not right with our pregnancy. At the 20 week ultrasound we got devastating news that things really looked wrong. After many visits with specialist, tests and ultrasounds, the outcome didn't look promising at all. There was a small chance that she could survive, but sadly everything
seemed to be pointing in the other direction. They talked about options for her while she was still within the womb, but each visit and new ultrasound showed that she was getting worse and worse. It was a hard time because we were really just waiting for her little heart to give out. We had many, many weeks to prepare ourselves for that end, but the wait just seemed agonizing. But what was really happening was the Lord was giving us a very unique opportunity to choose to turn to Him and choose to turn to one another as a new companionship.
I remember after that first ultrasound, everything was so shocking and the technician and doctor unfortunately weren't very kind to brand new expectant parents, I left feeling completely overwhelmed at the thought that I would loose the baby at any time. I remember Matt pulling the car over and looking at me and saying that we have a choice to make right now, we can either come together and find the blessing in this or it can be nothing but heart ache. He had obviously made his decision and I think it was my first real glimpse of what a wonderful, valiant man I had married. I knew before that he was a physical giant of a man, but I soon realized how much he was a spiritual giant as well and how lucky I am. I had this best friend who became so much more to me.
After many more weeks of waiting and going each week to see if she was hanging in there, we finally saw that her fight was over. I can't explain in words how close Matt and I became through this experience, we had been married for such a little amount of time, I was almost 7 months along and yet it was wonderful. And Emma was beautiful!
Now as each year has gone by and our family keeps growing each year, more blessings keep coming to our family because of Emma. Our kids have a very real experience and example of an Eternal Family with one of our members already waiting up there for us. We always discuss what we have to do to get to be with her again, and our little children get excited about the thought of a sister already home with our Father in Heaven.
I just never could have imagined it would have been so bonding for Matt and I as husband and wife to experience loss very early and that it would continue to bless us each year! The Lord works in mysterious ways.

Some fun picturesThis is Ellery with Miss Anstead, she loved her Kindergarten year! Ellie is very smart and had a great time!
Here is Bailey with her wonderful teacher on Circus Day. Bailey loved Mrs. Flack and will miss her so much, but on to Kindergarten we go!Taitem was loving Elle's hat from her program at the end of the year! And of course snacking through the whole thing!
Now this next picture makes Matt very happy, This little boy and Cy are the same age! It reminds me of the other day when Cy and Taite were wrestling. She was on the floor on her stomach and he climbed on top of her and was really hugging her at the time. He wouldn't get off though and Taite nicely asked, "Cy Cy- get off please, Cy Cy get off please" Then almost out of breath she yelled, "BEEF, get off my Taitem!"

12 comments:

Megan said...

Dev
I seriously wanted to cry while reading this post. I remember hearing that something wasn't right during your pregnancy and not knowing what to do to help you. Then I remember when I had Porter and you called...I think we both cried a lot on the phone! You are amazing and I am so glad that your experience with Emma has strengthened you and your family.

Kelli Proctor said...

Oh man you guys, although I knew this already, it still made me cry! You guys are so awesome and we love you guys!

hollie said...

Devin-you have such amazing strength. Matt texted Mikey the other day with your blog info...your family is so cute. I try to keep tabs on you through Mikey and this will make it easier!

Harmony said...

Dev,
What a good example you are to all of us. Your strength is amazing, and I too know your family will be together for eternity. Very will written :)

On a side note, my little guy had Mrs. Flack for a teacher too! He just finished his last year of preschool with her and is so excited for kindergarten.

Lindsay and Mike said...

Wow! That was an awesome post! You & your husband are such great examples! I don't know if I could have been so strong! You guys rock! BTW, I miss seeing you ever few days! :)

SuzyO said...

Great post Dev. I'm glad you were willing to share your story with the world. You are an amazing person with a ton of faith.

Kallas Family said...

Devyn-
That was a great post that brought me to tears!! I did not know about your story plus it hits home to me. I had a little girl who was born with trisomy 13 and only lived 6 weeks. I think that things like this can either make or brake you. It has definately strengthened my testimony and it sounds like yours too.

Andrea said...

What awesome insight your husband had at that time to realize that you could grow from such a difficult experience. I think that really applies to lots of different situations. We can let them harden us or we can grow from them. You are such an awesome example!

Ash said...

Dev I can't believe you went through something like this. Wow. Your a strong person. Simply amazing Dev. What a neat thing I think for your kids now to see and feel her sweet spirit. So touched.

J Fo said...

I'm so glad you found me, Dev! I was literally telling one of my friends this story yesterday because she has been struggling with multiple miscarriages. Sad stuff, but you are such a great example of finding the lessons and the blessing is trials. Love ya! (You are my favorite!)

The Gibby's said...

Dev, this was so tender to read. It's amazing sometimes what we are forced to go through, but how it's part of why we are here. We don't get to chose those struggles, but we can choose what we make of them. You guys are a great example. I had so much fun with you the other day at lunch. Thank you so much for the great talk. You are a dear friend.

bloggingchristy said...

Devyn,
This is Christy Hill, someone was telling me about you the other day, that you had 4 kids and one on the way and I remembered seeing you after you had Emma. How fun to remember her with your other 4 kids!! I can't believe how great you look!! Congrats on the new baby!! I am going to have to check out your blog more often to see how you do it all! I'm glad to see everything is going so great!